A major component of social justice is justice in matrimonial relations. Allah has given the wife certain rights over her husband. He has given the husband similar rights. Each party has to give the other their rights.
The woman has the right to be provided for by her husband. This includes all her basic needs like food, clothes, and shelter. It even includes some luxuries. "Let him who has abundance spend out of his abundance." Surah At-Talaq (65:7). This is according to his abilities and the wife’s needs.
The husband is just with his wife if he treats her kindly. "O you who have believed, it is not lawful for you to inherit women by force. And do not make difficulties for them in order to take [back] part of what you gave them unless they commit a clear immorality. And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good." Surah An-Nisa (4:19). The husband might sometimes feel he dislikes his wife due to external factors. He should not let these feelings dominate him. He must study the issue from the point of view of what is good for him. He might be wrong in evaluating the consequences of his actions.
Allah wants the husband to give the wife her rightful dowry. He should not deny her this right or pressure her to forgo it. "And if you wish to have one wife in place of another and you have given one of them a great amount [in gifts], do not take [back] from it anything. Would you take it in injustice and manifest sin? And how could you take it while you have gone in unto each other and they have taken from you a solemn covenant?" Surah An-Nisa (4:20-21). Justice in this domain is a firm covenant.
Jurists' Fatwas might vary with respect to sexual rights. The well-known Fatwa is that the woman has a right once every four months. But we believe the woman's right is equal to that of the man. Just as the woman should give her husband his sexual rights, the husband must also give her this right when needed. This is, of course, without causing any harm and in the absence of any legal or physical hindrance.
Allah says: "And they [women] have rights similar to their obligations according to what is recognized. But men have a degree over them." Surah Al-Baqarah (2:228). This degree has to do with divorce. The man has a right to have a sexual relation with his wife in all circumstances unless there is a legal excuse. She has to oblige. She cannot leave the house if he needs her to satisfy his needs. But when there is no such need, we advise the woman, as a precautionary measure, not to leave the house without the husband's permission. This is in accordance with the view of Sayyed Al-Khouie. Other jurists believe she does not have the right to leave without her husband's permission under any circumstances.
It is also impermissible for the man to hit his wife at will. This means without a justified reason. For example, he cannot hit her because his son is dirty, he does not like the food, or she is tired and asleep. Such a mentality reveals that many men feel their wives are slaves. A woman is a human being just like a man.
From a legal point of view, a man does not own his wife through the marriage contract. This contract is like any other. It has articles binding to one party and others binding to the other party. A husband or wife might think they own their spouse. This is not true. Both remain equal human beings governed by the contract they agreed on.
There are men who send their wives to their parents' houses. This is impermissible. It is also impermissible for them not to provide food, clothes, and health care for their wives. Wives too should not leave their houses just because they are angry. It is true that sometimes they might be hit or treated violently. In such cases, they are allowed to leave. But husbands are not allowed to throw them out. If they do, they still have to provide for them. If they do not, this right becomes a debt. This is only just. A woman is not allowed to hit her husband if he is weaker than her. This is also based on the rule of equality in rights.
Allah has laid the basis of the matrimonial relationship on two principles. "Keep them in good fellowship or let them go with kindness." Surah Al-Baqarah (2:229). Those who want to preserve their marriage ought to do so through good fellowship. They must give each party their right. Those who want to terminate it should do so in kindness, not through pressures. This is the theme of justice that should regulate marriage.
Part of this kindness is in the issue of housework. If it is stipulated in the marriage contract that the woman should do it, then she has to. If not, then the woman has the choice. Usually, when the man treats his wife kindly and lovingly, the woman would gladly do the housework. But when he hits or curses her or her family, how could she serve him? Marriage is an institute that serves the future and society. Whoever wants to marry, be it a man or a woman, should do so as a human being.
Relationships in the West
That is why Islam emphasized the need for moral and religious commitment in the husband's personality. The Messenger (p.) said: "If a person with satisfying religious and moral attitudes comes to seek your daughter in marriage, accept." Morals will make him humanitarian. Piety will make him fear Allah and not be unjust to his wife. The same thing goes for the wife. A man came to the Messenger and asked him whom he should marry. The Messenger (p.) said: "Marry a woman who is religious." This means one who lives the morality and commitment of religion. This is the Islamic line. The man who wants to get married should have built himself as a human being. He should also be seeking to please Allah in everything he does.
The same thing goes with respect to polygamy. Allah demands that the man who marries more than one wife should be just in providing equally. Some men might marry two or three without sufficient financial resources. That is why it has been said that justice here is in spending. Allah says: "And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one." Surah An-Nisa (4:3). Justice is demanded in a field that man can achieve, but not in emotions. One cannot control whom his heart inclines to. But the husband should not neglect his wife. "You will never be able to be equal between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. So do not incline completely [toward one] and leave another hanging." Surah An-Nisa (4:129). Do not abandon her and leave her unmarried and not divorced. Marriage is not a reflection of a mood. It is a humanitarian decision taken after a thorough study. The man should not think only about himself but also about the woman.
Talking about polygamy is very long. It is based on general human needs that Islam instituted to satisfy. It could be a solution for both the woman and the man. If we suppose it is a negative state for the first wife, it is a positive one for the second wife. It does not take into consideration only the emotional aspect but also the practical aspect of people needing one another.
We notice that in the West, a law bans having more than one wife. But illegal relationships are permissible. A person can have several sexual relations. In some Western countries, a woman in an illegal relationship is given the same rights as a wife, including half of the man's properties. This means Western law has limited the legal relationship to one wife but permitted an indefinite number of illegal relations. Furthermore, there is in the West now what is called gay marriage. A male marries another male and a female marries a female, and it is instituted in the law.
As for Islam, it has based things on what benefits man and not what corrupts him. "Does He who created not know, while He is the Subtle, the Acquainted?" Surah Al-Mulk (67:14). And: "O you who have believed, respond to Allah and to the Messenger when he calls you to that which gives you life." Surah Al-Anfal (8:24). This builds life on the basis of balance and righteousness.
This is one of the laws of life. There is not what is 100% good or 100% evil. For example, before this hall was built, we had more light and air but less protection and warmth. Now, light and air have become less, but protection and warmth have increased. The same thing goes for all matters in life. Before marriage, the single person feels free. When he is married, he satisfies his needs, but new problems appear. "They ask you about wine and gambling. Say, 'In them is great sin and [yet, some] benefit for people. But their sin is greater than their benefit.'" Surah Al-Baqarah (2:219). If the benefit of something is greater than its harm, then it is halal. If the benefit is less, then it is haram. But there is nothing that is all benefit or all harm.