Q: How may we teach sex education to our youth?
A: I do not limit the issue to any particular range; we may need books to explain a particular idea, as we must also tell the people of the injunctions of the Shari'ah on the issues of sex so that they may know their responsibilities in the area according to the Shari'ah.
Sex education is like any other subject; we have to teach it but with a functional approach, regardless of whether it is through books or school programs, conversations at home, or general debate.
Sex is something that affects the body of a person and how he deals with his impulses. Thus, it is normal that one should know all about it. What we view as socially forbidden may be a result of imitation or traditional cases. Therefore, confronting customs means that we must resort to wisdom to avoid creating more negative aspects than those we are trying to rid ourselves of.
Q: What are the parameters of this education? Is there a specific age at which we can begin instruction?
A: Islam has opened the door to sex education for all Muslims with respect to the sexual relations which the Quran discusses somewhat candidly. Indeed, on the subject of marriage, the Quranic terminology employs linguistic forms which suggest more sexual than contractual connotations, as in its use of the term "Nikah".
Indeed, when we study the noble Sunna, we find that there are hadiths on sexual issues which pertain to relations between a man and his wife in commendable matters, legal rulings, and ancillary topics. In more than one hadith, sexual organs are so candidly and naturally covered that one can only infer that the milieu of the (prophetic) message saw nothing immoral in the topic.
We may find some hadiths which deal with the conversation between the Prophet and someone who came to confess to having committed adultery (Zina). We see that the last question directed to the committer concerning the sex act used a term which people today may shy away from expressing.
In this manner we find related hadith issues pertaining to women in menstruation, pre-menstruation, the postpartum period, as well as matters pertaining to the impure (Najis) state of man after sexual relationship (Janabah), etc.
When we study the books of the jurists and the chapters that relate to sex, we see that there are clear, candid discussions on the specifics of sex, regardless of whether they pertain to sexual organs, the sex act, or some related issues.
We also find that the earlier scholars discussed sex in their books through funny stories, witticisms, and jokes transmitted in a manner that may be considered immoral by the present society. We find that some old books written by pious, ascetic, pure scholars consist of chapters that describe methods which are not conventional and familiar in the sex act. Their justification was that they felt that such books might make the spouses learn sexual conduct, which would improve their sex life and thus have the whole familial atmosphere much more lively.
This confirms that Islam adopts sex education by virtue of its relationship to the Shari'ah rulings -- the commendable, the obligatory or the forbidden --which relate to this aspect of the life of the human being. When we study this issue, however, we focus on it in the light of the principle that this discussion is not within the sphere of the forbidden but that of the lawful.
The evolution of cultural and social mores may have helped cultivate negative attitudes towards sex education or some specific aspects of it. This is especially true if the circumstances surrounding these mores lead to negative results: it will cause subconscious reactions in children or youth, leading them to stray from Islamic guidelines.
From this perspective, the subject has to be studied in much detail and caution before its thematic associations could be known-relating to the personality of the human being seeking such instruction or the factors that influence his life.
What I would like to stress is that sex education did not begin with contemporary developments. Islam did so earlier on every issue so far discussed.
Sex education may be all the more urgently needed, nowadays, because it is given to teenagers by way of films and cheap books, with no controls or limits. It may, therefore, be necessary for the specialists in Islamic methodology to draw up a special program to rescue the present generation from all the inaccurate information on sex.
Q: Which is better, teaching sex education within the family or at school?
A: We are not able to outline the issue so clearly that we can classify it to be within a particular scope, for children may need one type of teaching within the home, when they ask about childbirth, or become conscious of their private parts, or find siblings who are physically different. In this case, fathers and mothers may certainly teach the children in a well-balanced manner, giving the child correct, yet comprehensible answers.
We also need the school, for the systematic education of schools is necessary, especially since some school subjects relate to health, the study of animals and their reproduction, etc. The children are taught subjects they need to know, and through which they receive detailed explanations on subjects relating to the body.
A problem which we face is that, as a result of western culture, the general social environment has become quite sex conscious. The issue of sex has become one of absolute right, as generally with other rights. If Eastern cultures did not possess some discipline or restraint, this perverse cultural conditioning could have transformed the Eastern outlook from an Islamic reality into something more akin to what people in the West are.
When, therefore, you initiate sex education without strict caution in this atmosphere, you could easily spoil sex education. What I say is not dependent on the type of caution known in present-day society, but rather that of ensuring a strong foundation when providing sex education, so that it may not lead to corruption in practice.
Q: What is the method for explaining these issues to our sons and daughters? To what length should we go when discussing these issues with them?
These issues are exactly like the other educational issues which need to be explained to children. We may explain childbirth exactly as we explain planting or the incubation of an egg.
With respect to the foregoing questions, I have indicated that society strongly rejects these methods, even though they may be evident. It is absolutely necessary that we educate society in this respect, and introduce the matter as a general societal perspective, providing fathers and mothers with the proper methods of sex education which they may give their inquisitive children.
Q: What about a special program for sex education in schools?
I support that, but it is normal that every subject should be examined for its positive and negative influences on the students to whom it is taught, and the results it might lead to in society at large.
Excepts from "world of our youth"
Q: How may we teach sex education to our youth?
A: I do not limit the issue to any particular range; we may need books to explain a particular idea, as we must also tell the people of the injunctions of the Shari'ah on the issues of sex so that they may know their responsibilities in the area according to the Shari'ah.
Sex education is like any other subject; we have to teach it but with a functional approach, regardless of whether it is through books or school programs, conversations at home, or general debate.
Sex is something that affects the body of a person and how he deals with his impulses. Thus, it is normal that one should know all about it. What we view as socially forbidden may be a result of imitation or traditional cases. Therefore, confronting customs means that we must resort to wisdom to avoid creating more negative aspects than those we are trying to rid ourselves of.
Q: What are the parameters of this education? Is there a specific age at which we can begin instruction?
A: Islam has opened the door to sex education for all Muslims with respect to the sexual relations which the Quran discusses somewhat candidly. Indeed, on the subject of marriage, the Quranic terminology employs linguistic forms which suggest more sexual than contractual connotations, as in its use of the term "Nikah".
Indeed, when we study the noble Sunna, we find that there are hadiths on sexual issues which pertain to relations between a man and his wife in commendable matters, legal rulings, and ancillary topics. In more than one hadith, sexual organs are so candidly and naturally covered that one can only infer that the milieu of the (prophetic) message saw nothing immoral in the topic.
We may find some hadiths which deal with the conversation between the Prophet and someone who came to confess to having committed adultery (Zina). We see that the last question directed to the committer concerning the sex act used a term which people today may shy away from expressing.
In this manner we find related hadith issues pertaining to women in menstruation, pre-menstruation, the postpartum period, as well as matters pertaining to the impure (Najis) state of man after sexual relationship (Janabah), etc.
When we study the books of the jurists and the chapters that relate to sex, we see that there are clear, candid discussions on the specifics of sex, regardless of whether they pertain to sexual organs, the sex act, or some related issues.
We also find that the earlier scholars discussed sex in their books through funny stories, witticisms, and jokes transmitted in a manner that may be considered immoral by the present society. We find that some old books written by pious, ascetic, pure scholars consist of chapters that describe methods which are not conventional and familiar in the sex act. Their justification was that they felt that such books might make the spouses learn sexual conduct, which would improve their sex life and thus have the whole familial atmosphere much more lively.
This confirms that Islam adopts sex education by virtue of its relationship to the Shari'ah rulings -- the commendable, the obligatory or the forbidden --which relate to this aspect of the life of the human being. When we study this issue, however, we focus on it in the light of the principle that this discussion is not within the sphere of the forbidden but that of the lawful.
The evolution of cultural and social mores may have helped cultivate negative attitudes towards sex education or some specific aspects of it. This is especially true if the circumstances surrounding these mores lead to negative results: it will cause subconscious reactions in children or youth, leading them to stray from Islamic guidelines.
From this perspective, the subject has to be studied in much detail and caution before its thematic associations could be known-relating to the personality of the human being seeking such instruction or the factors that influence his life.
What I would like to stress is that sex education did not begin with contemporary developments. Islam did so earlier on every issue so far discussed.
Sex education may be all the more urgently needed, nowadays, because it is given to teenagers by way of films and cheap books, with no controls or limits. It may, therefore, be necessary for the specialists in Islamic methodology to draw up a special program to rescue the present generation from all the inaccurate information on sex.
Q: Which is better, teaching sex education within the family or at school?
A: We are not able to outline the issue so clearly that we can classify it to be within a particular scope, for children may need one type of teaching within the home, when they ask about childbirth, or become conscious of their private parts, or find siblings who are physically different. In this case, fathers and mothers may certainly teach the children in a well-balanced manner, giving the child correct, yet comprehensible answers.
We also need the school, for the systematic education of schools is necessary, especially since some school subjects relate to health, the study of animals and their reproduction, etc. The children are taught subjects they need to know, and through which they receive detailed explanations on subjects relating to the body.
A problem which we face is that, as a result of western culture, the general social environment has become quite sex conscious. The issue of sex has become one of absolute right, as generally with other rights. If Eastern cultures did not possess some discipline or restraint, this perverse cultural conditioning could have transformed the Eastern outlook from an Islamic reality into something more akin to what people in the West are.
When, therefore, you initiate sex education without strict caution in this atmosphere, you could easily spoil sex education. What I say is not dependent on the type of caution known in present-day society, but rather that of ensuring a strong foundation when providing sex education, so that it may not lead to corruption in practice.
Q: What is the method for explaining these issues to our sons and daughters? To what length should we go when discussing these issues with them?
These issues are exactly like the other educational issues which need to be explained to children. We may explain childbirth exactly as we explain planting or the incubation of an egg.
With respect to the foregoing questions, I have indicated that society strongly rejects these methods, even though they may be evident. It is absolutely necessary that we educate society in this respect, and introduce the matter as a general societal perspective, providing fathers and mothers with the proper methods of sex education which they may give their inquisitive children.
Q: What about a special program for sex education in schools?
I support that, but it is normal that every subject should be examined for its positive and negative influences on the students to whom it is taught, and the results it might lead to in society at large.
Excepts from "world of our youth"