Q: The Quran has allowed the husband, in terms of the marital relation, to beat his wife. To what limit does this extend?
A: In marriage, the contract grants the husband the right to sexual intimacy with his wife. This is to preserve himself from immorality. The wife also has the same right to sexual enjoyment. Both spouses have equal rights and obligations in a just manner.
The wife has a sexual duty towards her husband, and he has the same duty towards her. But what if the wife refuses to grant her husband this right? This right was part of the contract, which she entered into by her own free will. The primary basis of the marriage contract is sexual intimacy.
The Holy Quran provides guidance for this situation. Allah says: "And those [women] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them." Surah an-Nisa (04:34)
First, the husband should advise his wife. He must explain that her conduct is damaging the marriage. This behavior might force him to consider a second wife or, worse, an unlawful relationship. If she does not obey, he may then desert her in bed. He can sleep separately. If she still refuses to obey, what is the solution? Can the court send police officers to force the wife to satisfy her husband? This is completely unrealistic.
Therefore, the husband faces two choices. He can either destroy his marital life by leaving, or he can try to correct her. The Quran states it is permissible for him to beat her lightly as a last resort to educate her. This is not for severe harm. When she obeys him, the Quran says: "But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them." Surah an-Nisa (04:34)
Islam confirms that marriage should be based on compassion and mercy. However, the legal aspect exists to preserve the couple's rights.
This matter is restricted to cases of absolute necessity. It is not for ordinary situations. The husband has no right to beat his wife for not cleaning the house, nursing the children, or even breastfeeding them. These duties are not included in the core marriage contract.
Some may find this surprising. The wife has the right to ask for a wage for her housework, just like any other worker. This includes breastfeeding. However, Islam encourages that the marital relation be based on love and compassion. Allah says: "And He has placed between you compassion and mercy." Surah ar-Rum (30:21) Both the husband and wife make sacrifices for each other. The legal rules are there to protect their rights.
I have also issued a fatwa that has sparked debate. If a man assaults his wife and beats her to the point of harm, and she cannot escape, she has the right to defend herself. She may beat him back in self-defense. For Allah says: "And whoever transgresses against you, then transgress against him in the same way as he has transgressed against you." Surah al-Baqarah (02:194)
When a husband beats his wife for refusing intimacy, and her reason is not a severe health or psychological one, it is for her own interest. It prevents the husband from seeking to satisfy his needs outside the marriage, which would negatively affect their life together.
Q: What if the husband is the one refusing to give his wife her right?
A: In that case, he is committing a sin. However, the wife beating him is useless. She cannot regain her right that way. Instead, she has the right to raise the issue to a religious authority. A just jurist can then grant her a divorce if she requests it. This is due to her husband's failure to satisfy her sexually or support her financially.
Q: The Quran has allowed the husband, in terms of the marital relation, to beat his wife. To what limit does this extend?
A: In marriage, the contract grants the husband the right to sexual intimacy with his wife. This is to preserve himself from immorality. The wife also has the same right to sexual enjoyment. Both spouses have equal rights and obligations in a just manner.
The wife has a sexual duty towards her husband, and he has the same duty towards her. But what if the wife refuses to grant her husband this right? This right was part of the contract, which she entered into by her own free will. The primary basis of the marriage contract is sexual intimacy.
The Holy Quran provides guidance for this situation. Allah says: "And those [women] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them." Surah an-Nisa (04:34)
First, the husband should advise his wife. He must explain that her conduct is damaging the marriage. This behavior might force him to consider a second wife or, worse, an unlawful relationship. If she does not obey, he may then desert her in bed. He can sleep separately. If she still refuses to obey, what is the solution? Can the court send police officers to force the wife to satisfy her husband? This is completely unrealistic.
Therefore, the husband faces two choices. He can either destroy his marital life by leaving, or he can try to correct her. The Quran states it is permissible for him to beat her lightly as a last resort to educate her. This is not for severe harm. When she obeys him, the Quran says: "But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them." Surah an-Nisa (04:34)
Islam confirms that marriage should be based on compassion and mercy. However, the legal aspect exists to preserve the couple's rights.
This matter is restricted to cases of absolute necessity. It is not for ordinary situations. The husband has no right to beat his wife for not cleaning the house, nursing the children, or even breastfeeding them. These duties are not included in the core marriage contract.
Some may find this surprising. The wife has the right to ask for a wage for her housework, just like any other worker. This includes breastfeeding. However, Islam encourages that the marital relation be based on love and compassion. Allah says: "And He has placed between you compassion and mercy." Surah ar-Rum (30:21) Both the husband and wife make sacrifices for each other. The legal rules are there to protect their rights.
I have also issued a fatwa that has sparked debate. If a man assaults his wife and beats her to the point of harm, and she cannot escape, she has the right to defend herself. She may beat him back in self-defense. For Allah says: "And whoever transgresses against you, then transgress against him in the same way as he has transgressed against you." Surah al-Baqarah (02:194)
When a husband beats his wife for refusing intimacy, and her reason is not a severe health or psychological one, it is for her own interest. It prevents the husband from seeking to satisfy his needs outside the marriage, which would negatively affect their life together.
Q: What if the husband is the one refusing to give his wife her right?
A: In that case, he is committing a sin. However, the wife beating him is useless. She cannot regain her right that way. Instead, she has the right to raise the issue to a religious authority. A just jurist can then grant her a divorce if she requests it. This is due to her husband's failure to satisfy her sexually or support her financially.