Q: Islam gives a man the right to marry four women. Why four? Is polygamy demeaning to women and a violation of their right to a stable family life?
A: Polygamy has negative aspects. However, it is a system that addresses human needs. The positive aspects can be greater than the negative ones. This makes its permission a necessary option.
This need is proven by history. Polygamy has always existed in relationships between men and women. It exists both in the past and present. It can be explicit or implicit. Today, only a small percentage of men have relations with just one woman. This can be within marriage or outside it. History is full of stories of illegitimate relations alongside legitimate ones. This proves a need for polygamy.
The need may come from within a person. It may also come from external factors like infertility or disease. This inherent need can make monogamy a cause of greater problems. It can lead to deviation and complications.
Therefore, allowing polygamy does not demean a woman's value. It is not an attack on her security or psychological stability. This is true if proper Islamic justice is secured. Marriage should not be seen as possession. If a woman sees her husband as a possession, then she might feel another wife is sharing him.
Q: Did the Prophet marry more than four wives?
A: This was a special privilege for the Prophet, as jurists state. It is not a general rule. Polygamy was restricted to four wives for others.
Q: Islam links polygamy to justice. Yet it says justice is impossible to achieve. The Quran states:
"And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice]."
Surah an-Nisa (4:3)
"And you will never be able to be equal [in feeling] between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. So do not incline completely [toward one] and leave another hanging. And if you amend [your affairs] and fear Allah - then indeed, Allah is ever Forgiving and Merciful."
Surah an-Nisa (4:129)
How can this system continue if justice cannot be maintained?
A: There are two types of justice. The first is justice in provision. The second is justice in emotions.
The first verse refers to justice in providing for wives. It is not about emotional leaning. The second verse confirms the impossibility of perfect emotional justice.
The second verse clarifies the legitimacy of polygamy. It does not annul it. A husband must be fair in his financial support. He does not have to be fair in his emotions, as emotions are not voluntary. A person should act based on their commitments, not their fleeting feelings.
Q: Since Islam allows polygamy, why is it restricted only to men?
A: Islam adopts a paternal family system. The father organizes the family's living affairs. Children belong to the father's lineage.
If a woman had multiple husbands, it would create a problem of lineage. It would be impossible to know the father of a child. Also, having multiple sexual partners is not an inherent psychological need for women. History shows only rare cases of polyandry. These cases are so rare they never became a general law.
Furthermore, demographic imbalances often favor polygyny. Women often outnumber men due to wars and dangerous work that primarily affect men. Men also generally have a stronger sexual instinct. They are quicker to arousal and have stronger desires. Therefore, polygamy can be a need for men, not women. This is why women are often more faithful in their sexual relations.
Q: Islam considers a woman's jealousy a sin. How can Allah punish a natural feeling while allowing polygamy for men?
A: Allah, the Most Exalted, does not hold people accountable for their inner feelings. He only holds them accountable for their actions. A woman might feel hurt by polygamy. However, it is a ruling that serves the general interest of society. She should focus on the broader wisdom of the legislation to overcome her personal hurt.
Q: Islam gives a man the right to marry four women. Why four? Is polygamy demeaning to women and a violation of their right to a stable family life?
A: Polygamy has negative aspects. However, it is a system that addresses human needs. The positive aspects can be greater than the negative ones. This makes its permission a necessary option.
This need is proven by history. Polygamy has always existed in relationships between men and women. It exists both in the past and present. It can be explicit or implicit. Today, only a small percentage of men have relations with just one woman. This can be within marriage or outside it. History is full of stories of illegitimate relations alongside legitimate ones. This proves a need for polygamy.
The need may come from within a person. It may also come from external factors like infertility or disease. This inherent need can make monogamy a cause of greater problems. It can lead to deviation and complications.
Therefore, allowing polygamy does not demean a woman's value. It is not an attack on her security or psychological stability. This is true if proper Islamic justice is secured. Marriage should not be seen as possession. If a woman sees her husband as a possession, then she might feel another wife is sharing him.
Q: Did the Prophet marry more than four wives?
A: This was a special privilege for the Prophet, as jurists state. It is not a general rule. Polygamy was restricted to four wives for others.
Q: Islam links polygamy to justice. Yet it says justice is impossible to achieve. The Quran states:
"And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice]."
Surah an-Nisa (4:3)
"And you will never be able to be equal [in feeling] between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. So do not incline completely [toward one] and leave another hanging. And if you amend [your affairs] and fear Allah - then indeed, Allah is ever Forgiving and Merciful."
Surah an-Nisa (4:129)
How can this system continue if justice cannot be maintained?
A: There are two types of justice. The first is justice in provision. The second is justice in emotions.
The first verse refers to justice in providing for wives. It is not about emotional leaning. The second verse confirms the impossibility of perfect emotional justice.
The second verse clarifies the legitimacy of polygamy. It does not annul it. A husband must be fair in his financial support. He does not have to be fair in his emotions, as emotions are not voluntary. A person should act based on their commitments, not their fleeting feelings.
Q: Since Islam allows polygamy, why is it restricted only to men?
A: Islam adopts a paternal family system. The father organizes the family's living affairs. Children belong to the father's lineage.
If a woman had multiple husbands, it would create a problem of lineage. It would be impossible to know the father of a child. Also, having multiple sexual partners is not an inherent psychological need for women. History shows only rare cases of polyandry. These cases are so rare they never became a general law.
Furthermore, demographic imbalances often favor polygyny. Women often outnumber men due to wars and dangerous work that primarily affect men. Men also generally have a stronger sexual instinct. They are quicker to arousal and have stronger desires. Therefore, polygamy can be a need for men, not women. This is why women are often more faithful in their sexual relations.
Q: Islam considers a woman's jealousy a sin. How can Allah punish a natural feeling while allowing polygamy for men?
A: Allah, the Most Exalted, does not hold people accountable for their inner feelings. He only holds them accountable for their actions. A woman might feel hurt by polygamy. However, it is a ruling that serves the general interest of society. She should focus on the broader wisdom of the legislation to overcome her personal hurt.