Q: Is a Muslim woman given the freedom to choose her future husband away from the authority of her father?
A: In Islam, a father does not have authority to interfere in his adult children's decisions. This applies to both males and females, especially in marriage. Some Islamic jurisprudents have reservations regarding a virgin woman. However, we believe both adult males and females possess the legal right to make their own personal decisions. A person may choose to consult their father if they wish. All Islamic jurisprudents agree that a widowed or divorced woman has absolute freedom to choose her own future partner.
Obedience to parents in Islam should not contradict the children's own welfare. If a son or daughter recognizes that this obedience does not fit their ambitions, they have the total right to seek what benefits them. Any person, male or female, has the legal right to marry whom they see their life with. Obedience to parents is not an Islamic law. It is a case of taking care of, protecting, and respecting our parents. This behavior is not considered an act of disloyalty. Persons are supposed to be kind, helpful, and patient with their parents. That is all.
Q: According to this, is a marriage contract for a virgin woman without her father's agreement legal?
A: If we adopt the view that necessitates the father's presence, then a virgin woman is prohibited from marrying without her father's agreement. In this case, the marriage would be illegal. However, other Islamic jurisprudents, like Assayid Al-Khouee, resort to obligatory precaution for such a marriage. They demand the father should agree, or the man should divorce, since the contract is not absolutely valid.
Another view advocates for the marriage of a virgin woman without the presence of her father or grandfather. This is also a legal view advocated by a number of scholars. In their view, the marriage is legal.
Q: If permission for marriage is not about loyalty, why is a woman supposed to ask her father's permission and not her mother's? The emotional relation between a mother and daughter is stronger.
A: It is probable the father might be more understanding of the proposed person's personality than the mother. However, we have already stated that permission for marriage is not a necessity from either the father or the mother. Therefore, the father and mother are the same in this point. It is, in fact, the daughter's devotion to seek permission if she wishes to.
Qualities Needed to Be a Decision-Maker
A son or daughter should be mature enough to make their own decisions. They should be rational and aware of what benefits them.
Preferable Qualities in a Partner
Q: What are the preferable qualities which Islam motivates a man or woman to find in a partner?
A: Islam necessitates the presence of both religious and moral traits when choosing a future partner. The Prophet (p.) once said: "If the religious and the moral qualities exist in the proposed partner, accept the proposal, otherwise it would turn out to be a greatest corruption on earth." For more clarification, a man once consulted the Prophet (p.) about the kind of person he should marry. The Prophet (p.) advised: "The religious one."
Going deep into the word "religious", we understand it includes the mind, the heart, and the body. A religious person is known for commitment to religious duties within themselves and with others. A pious person who is faithful and obedient to Allah knows and respects his limits and the limits of others. The religious element guarantees the success and health of a marriage.
Islam also focuses on the moral side in the choice of a partner. The moral side is essential because it enriches the spiritual one. The presence of both moral and spiritual elements empowers the relation. It strengthens it against any trouble. These two elements help the partners become more compatible. They become more faithful, honest, and merciful to each other. Islam highlights the importance of the moral side for the success of any human relation, not only marriage.
The Prophet (p.) said: "I have been commissioned to perfect the best of morals."
"And marry the unmarried among you and the righteous among your male slaves and your female slaves. If they should be poor, Allah will enrich them from His bounty, and Allah is all-Encompassing and Knowing." (Surah an-Nur 24:32)
Islam does not give credence to the partner's economic side. Money does not make a man. It does not form one's human values. It is man who makes money. The presence of money is not stable. It easily goes. Allah says:
"If they should be poor, Allah will enrich them from His bounty, and Allah is all-Encompassing and Knowing." (Surah an-Nur 24:32)
A person might be poor but rich in values, love, and care.
Q: What do you advise a woman who is asked to choose between staying single or choosing a person who does not possess the Islamic qualities?
A: If the proposed person is an ordinary person who does not negatively affect her beliefs or bring troubles to her life, then I prefer the state of marriage to staying single.
Woman and Her Entry into the Fields of Arts and Media,
The Observance of Moral Limits
Q: If a woman's work outside her house has been legally issued, is her work in the fields of art and media, which is mixed with men, permitted?
A: In principle, such jobs are not prohibited. A woman's entrance into the world of cinema and theatre is Islamically legalized. This is provided the woman herself observes her restrictions and keeps her moral values. The observance of restrictions and moral values is also required from men. Both men and women have the same rights and are subjected to the same laws and restrictions.
Any objection towards a woman's job in cinema might be due to the lack of Islamic cinemas and theatres. That is all. If an Islamic benefit requires the development of such fields to limit the impact of Western culture on our Muslim people, then it becomes a must. The theatre and cinema could guide and instruct people to the right path of Islam. Then a woman's work becomes a must.