Allah, the Most Exalted, says in His glorious book:
"And your Lord has decreed that you worship not except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], 'uff,' and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, 'My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.'"
Surah al-Isra (17:23-24)
He also says:
"And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination. But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance]."
Surah Luqman (31:14-15)
And:
"And We have enjoined upon man goodness to his parents. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning [period] is thirty months." Surah al-Ahqaf (46:15)
A few days ago we celebrated Mother's Day. Although the Quran does not distinguish between father and mother in the obligation of kindness, it specifically highlights the mother's greater physical suffering:
"His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness."
Surah Luqman (31:14)
"His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship."
Surah al-Ahqaf (46:15)
Nevertheless, the core principle remains the same. Islam emphasizes the humanitarian aspect of human nature by instilling gratitude to both God and parents for their blessings. The greatest gift to humanity is existence itself, which prepares us to attain the highest standards in this world and the Hereafter through the faculties God has granted us: mind, spirit, will, senses, and body, along with the creation of heaven and earth to serve us.
By fulfilling this duty, we meet God's expectations and earn His satisfaction in the Hereafter. While God is the ultimate Creator, parents serve as the direct means of bringing us into existence. The mother endures the physical transformations of pregnancy, the pain and risks of childbirth, and the demands of breastfeeding. She provides continuous love, nourishment, and security. The father demonstrates his role through diligent efforts to provide for his family's financial needs.
Parents make immense sacrifices for their children, striving to ensure better and more fruitful lives for them. They find contentment in their struggles and fatigue, experiencing joy in their child's growth despite their own pain and sacrifices.
When we contemplate the extent of parental giving, we realize that we can never fully repay them for all they have done.
The Prophet, peace be upon him, was once asked by a man who had cared for his parents whether he had repaid them adequately. The Prophet replied: "No, you haven't, because they served you hoping you would live, while you serve them expecting them to die."
This explains why God links gratitude to parents with gratitude to Himself. If a person cannot appreciate what his parents have done, he cannot truly appreciate what God has done. God prepared parents for their role and instilled the secret of life in the union of sperm and ovum.
The Prophet and the Imams frequently emphasized this subject. Imam Ja'far As-Sadiq explained the verse about kindness to parents by saying it means: "keeping them company and providing for their needs before they ask, even if they are wealthy."
In practical terms, we should anticipate our parents' needs. When they grow old, we must not say 'uff' to them or shout at them, but speak respectfully - even if they were to hit us, according to Imam As-Sadiq. This is because a child always remains a child in his parents' eyes, even at fifty years old.
If parents hit their child - though religiously discouraged - the Imam advised: "Tell them, 'May God forgive you!' for this is a proper response."
The command to "lower the wing of humility" means we should always look at them with compassion, never raise our voices or hands above theirs, and avoid walking in front of them unless necessary.
Imam Ja'far As-Sadiq also stated: "A person should be good to his parents whether they are alive or deceased by praying for them, giving charity, fasting, and performing pilgrimages on their behalf. Then God will reward him as he rewarded them and grant him abundant recompense for his prayers."
When Imam Ali Ar-Rida was asked whether one should pray for non-righteous parents, he answered: "Yes, you should. Give charity on their behalf, and if they are alive, treat them well, for the Prophet said: 'God sent me with mercy, not with ingratitude.'"
Imam Muhammad Al-Baqir declared: "There are three things God does not permit: failing to return a trust to its owner (whether good or bad), breaking a covenant, and being undutiful to parents (whether they are good or not)."
When a man asked the Prophet, peace be upon him, to whom he should be good, the Prophet replied "your mother" three times before saying "your father" on the fourth inquiry. This highlights the distinction between motherhood and fatherhood, with mothers enduring significantly more suffering and pain.
Another man told the Prophet: "I am an energetic young man who wishes to fight for God's cause, but my mother dislikes this." The Prophet responded: "Go and stay with your mother, for keeping her company for one night is better than a year of fighting for God's cause" - applicable when jihad is not a dire necessity for the Muslim community.
In conclusion, we must be good to our parents even if they are not Muslims. Furthermore, the most effective way to call others to Islam is through Islamic ethics. The more honest, truthful, and pious we are, the more we attract others to our faith. These are the morals of Islam and the heritage of Ahl al-Bayt. To truly follow the path of Muhammad and the infallible Imams, we must be ethical and humanitarian in all aspects of life.
The aforementioned is an edited Friday sermon by His Eminence, the late Sayyed Muhammad Hussein Fadlullah (ra).