1-The General Role of a Woman
What influence does equality between men and women have on defining their expected roles in life? Are we allowed to say that men and women have identical roles? They are one and of the same soul.
God created men and women to build life together. They complete one another. Islam opened the door for women to enter all fields of life. They can work side by side with men, supporting and helping each other. Islam did not separate their roles. This is clearly shown in the verse:
"The believing men and believing women are allies of one another. They enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and establish prayer and give zakah and obey Allah and His Messenger. Those - Allah will have mercy upon them. Indeed, Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise." Surah At-Tawbah (9:71).
Justice embraces everything positive in life. Evil comprises everything negative. Men and women are partners in building life. Men are responsible for society. Women are equally responsible for the society they live in. Outside the framework of motherhood and fatherhood, they perform different functions. Men and women have vast areas to conquer. They build life shoulder to shoulder as human beings, equal in humanity. Accordingly, we can say that Islam opened the door for women to enjoy life as a whole. This contrasts with what some people assume, that it tied them down to their female characteristics.
Where and how does the role of women as females prevail? Where could they perform their role as human beings?
The sphere in which a woman can express her femininity is narrow. It is restricted to her marital life. Her role as a female is mainly revealed there. It is also shown in her family and feminine milieu. There she can show her feminine traits through wearing ornaments or other means. Motherhood is the most important feminine role a woman fulfills. But motherhood itself is not purely a feminine role. It is a human role in a woman’s life. Thus, the role of a woman as a human being remains her most essential role in life. She must confirm in her actions that she is a person of reason. She is a person of will. She is a person of affection. She is a person who has a mission to carry out. She should prove that she has the ability to take part in life. So, women’s humanity is the most important aspect of their personality. It is the aspect that symbolizes the aim God created them to achieve in this world. He created women to contribute to existence with the faculties they have. He created men to contribute to existence with the abilities they possess.
Therefore, we believe that the feminine aspect of the woman’s personality is revealed in a delimited sphere. Her human aspect is manifested in her whole existence as a woman. The human aspect of her personality will be integrated with the feminine aspect of her conduct as a female. This is true whether with her husband or within her own specific sensations of femininity. The aspect of humanity in her will enrich that conduct. It turns it into a nobler one. It will expand her giving to the partner that she joins in marriage. In other words, it is an aspect that refines the instinct and humanizes it in deeds and in feelings. The marital relationship will no longer be a relationship where the female provides the male with her biological drives. It will rather be a human relationship. Each partner, male or female, makes use of his distinguishing characteristics. They give the other what pleases him. They satisfy both his emotional and his physical needs.
2- Women as Housewives
When Islam confirms the specifically female characteristic of a woman in its rulings; doesn’t that lead us to conclude that the intrinsic role of a woman, according to Islam, is the role of a housewife?
The saying that Islam ties the woman down to a homemaker role is a frequently heard reflection. This is why it is worth discussing. Before going into the depth of the subject, we should point out two kinds of rulings in Islam. The first kind is the binding rules. They necessitate the person to do something or not to do it. They are called the obligation and prohibition rules. The second is the rules that urge the person to do something but do not compel him. Or they wish him not to do something but do not prevent him. They are called the preferable and the detested rules. Or they are rules that allow the person the possibility of choosing. These are called the allowed.
Well, does Islam oblige the woman to be a housewife before and after marriage? According to Islam, not a single person is authorized to oblige the woman to manage domestic work in her parental house. This includes a father, a mother, a brother, or any relative. So, housework is not imposed on women. Just like neither the father nor the mother has the legitimate right to oblige the boy to handle housework.
Yes. She can take on this charge if she willingly volunteers. This would be out of a sense of responsibility towards the house that is taking care of her. When the girl becomes a wife, the fact that she manages the domestic work will also remain a voluntary matter. It is up to her to decide. The contract of marriage does not bind women, from a legal aspect, to do housework. It does not bind her to rear her children and take care of them. This is unless the two married people included the performance of these works in the marriage contract under special terms.
But Islam does not consider women’s housework as one of the marriage contract articles. It also does not require women to carry out any kind of jobs outside home to support her family or to contribute in supporting it. On the basis of the marriage contract, a man can demand nothing from his wife but the rights to the private marital relationship and all what is related to it. Anything other than that would not be imposed on her. This includes arranging the household affairs and bringing the children up.
From this perspective, we can approach the issue of women’s work in the house as women’s finest contribution. It completes men’s finest contribution.
But doesn’t saying that a woman is not obligated to manage her household chores encourage her to stick to the margin?
Saying that a woman is not obliged to work inside the house or outside it does not mean that she must do nothing in life. Indeed, the core issue is that Islam wanted women to handle their housework motivated by reasons of giving and not out of obligation. It is a social service.
When Islam didn’t force women to manage the household affairs, it offered them the opportunity to participate in building the society they live in. From an Islamic point of view, women are as responsible as men to help people find their way to God. They must guide society in the right path with all the power they have. As we have previously mentioned, women are also charged to enjoin what is just and forbid what is evil. This represents the social practical surveillance against deviation in all the domains of life. This role might get to the level of revolt against unjustness and deviation.
The saying that a woman is not bound to carry out any career outside home to make a living does not mean her role in life is canceled. This is in the light of the saying that she should share the man the responsibility of enjoining what is just and forbidding what is evil. On the contrary, it indicates that the opportunities are wide enough for her to perform that role. Her job as a mother and as a homemaker does not drain her power. Her participation in supporting her family does not drain her. Even the responsibility of supporting herself does not drain her. She can still contribute to the public fields.
By making the hardships of home and family life less burdensome for women, Islam acknowledged the role of women in building life. It offered her the chance to participate, practically, in that building process.
3- Women in the Midst of Marriage and Motherhood Duties
Notwithstanding your emphasis that the role of a woman as a human being is her prior role, this priority is practically negated once we recognize the considerable value Islam attaches to the role of a woman as a wife and as a mother. This necessitates her to remain home to take care of the children and to satisfy the husband’s needs.
So, according to Islam, are women alone responsible for bringing children up? Do they have to stay constantly with their children?
Firstly: Although Islam stresses the importance of a woman’s role as a mother and as a wife, we can benefit from the majority of its rulings. These rulings commissioned the father with the responsibility of the family and the children in particular. They gave him the right to their custody in case of separation. The father and the mother are real partners in the task of raising a child. Although Islam regards motherhood as sacred, it had not made women solely responsible of rearing their children. In addition to the affection purpose of motherhood and fatherhood, they also have a parenting job. They help each other to fulfill it. In this job, the distinctive nature of each parent has an intrinsic role. The mother as a woman and the father as a man, along with the kind of connection that relates the child to each one of them, develop and enrich the child’s personality on all levels. The mother provides her child with the inner sense of security. She satisfies his physical and emotional needs as a result of her direct adhesion to his body. The father looks after the child’s external affairs. He takes on the responsibility of supplying him with a deep sense of protection and strength. Through this, the child can face the entire outside world. This is an illustration of the mutual work that both the husband and the wife cooperate in doing.
Secondly: It is of great importance to the child that his mother would be the one who fosters him. Nevertheless, nothing binds the woman to constantly stick to the child, or even to the husband, unless he needs her in an extraordinary way.
From this standpoint, the emphasis placed on the importance of woman’s special role as a wife and as a mother does not deny her general role as a human being. This role carries some human purposes in itself.
In case the mother prefers to carry out a job rather than staying all the time with her infant, where can she put him?
If the mother is fully occupied, whether with her work or with anything else, and she cannot take care of her newborn, she can then rely on anyone she finds trustworthy to watch over her baby. This is an attempt to fill up the emptiness caused by her absence. However, the mother should try her best to spend with him as much time as she can afford. This is to provide him with the love and tenderness that can help in alleviating the feeling of fear created by her not being present.
Is it acceptable to send babies to daycare centers?
Putting children in daycare centers in such cases might seem the most practical solution. It might seem the most educationally suitable for the child because specialists of education usually supervise these centers. Nonetheless, the mother should double her efforts to compensate her baby. She must compensate for all the fondness that he misses in her absence. She must compensate for all the anxiety and fragility that he feels from being present in an unfamiliar crowd of children.